I'm deliberately parking in one of the mother and baby spaces. Why should they get a space just because they've had a shag? What's so special about them? Even mongs know how to fuck.

If we follow the logic of this outrageous caste system, women like me – women without children – would be consigned to parking on a patch of wasteland, probably some four miles away so we can spend the time walking back, to contemplate our infertility and subsequent futility. What next? Are we to be refused carrier bags? Being told we may as well put our barren wombs to good use? Or will we be offered a bag for life? That would really be taking the piss.